Monday, May 24, 2010

Denver's Finest


So last week my sister and I flew out to meet my parents in Denver for my brothers graduation. He is the last of the Fischer clan to graduate so we were all pretty excited.

We flew out of Erie, me and my sister. (My parents had flown down a few days earlier). I do have to thank my new friend Walther (not his given name) for a great flight. The most admirable quality in my new friend was his complete obliviousness to the armrest that was supposed to keep his elbows out of my ribs for the duration of the flight.
Highlight of the flight down-- seeing a drug sniffing dog investigating an unclaimed bag in the middle of the airport! Cool, until it struck me-- what if that unclaimed duffel on wheels was really a sack full of explosives? Hmm... well i am here, typing to you fine people so obviously it wasn't.

So we get to Denver, the parents pick us up and we had a funny dinner at some bar. My mom was too short to get up on the tall stools so we had to give the little cupcake a little hoist. Always entertaining. We went to bed pretty quick because the next morning we were up shortly after 6 to drive downtown and watch graduation. It was cold in the morning but once it warmed up it was glorious. Highlight of the ceremony were numerous: The lady in front of me using her program as a hat for well over 15 minutes. The guy next to her talking about 35 notches above appropriate on his bluetooth (that was when he was finished yelling 4 rows back to his family). Such nice manners :) HA. Then the speaker congratulated the man who was being recognized for all his service to the UC Denver community and for being, I quote, "a truly disturbed, I mean distinguished individual." Then he proceeded to announce the graduates and misread poor Mark Gestring as Mark G-String. Ooops.

That night we went to this place called Park Tavern for some drinks. It was me, Bobby, Adrienne, bobs friend Alli and her 2 friends. Bobby and I had been in there last time and had a hell of a time with these 2 boys (one wearing ski goggles at a bar at night time) playing quarters. They have this special you buy a drink and get a token for a free drink. So we hoarded the coins and played turbo quarters. You all flip for the same cup, whoever makes it first gives the glass to 1 person for redemption. If they miss they drink their WHOLE BEER! This calls for a chip check! Ok so we were all fucked pretty quickly and getting loud and making a scene...which is always good. So Bobbys there wearing his khakis and dress shirt and were all goin wild. Three strangers come over and ask to play with us we say suuuureee!!! They sit down and were all slamming on the table in response to the waitress bringing us waters (these were not requested and what kinda drunk wants water ne ways?)...yelling "HELL NO H20". Yes, this really happened. So after a few rounds of Down by the Banks of the Hanky Panky (Yes, that really happened too) we were back to slamming our fists which resulted in the strangers full beer trampolining off the table and exploding. Then Bobby, still slamming his fists, slams right down into the glass pile and gets a shard in the knuckle. Blood spurts everywhere. I mean everywhere, pooled on the floor, on my sisters shoes, dribbled all the way to the bathroom then all over the sink. The bouncers thought he was bleeding out right there. When we all realized it was a cut the size of a small ant things calmed down...but we left shortly thereafter...probably the best thing for us. So no more clean, pressed khakis and rather bloody hand print khakis. Still, a good look.

Ok so the next day my sister started with her Tea Kettle process. Roughly translated...she gets on the stove and is cool and collected, after a short time she gets warm and slightly irritated then before long shes screaming. Teas done, so is adrienne. Thus is the story of family vacations with Adrienne. In other words, sunday was rough. Not to mention we had to do cleaning around Bobbys apartment and it was foul.

We also went to see the Bodies exhibit which was really awesome-- plastinated bodies and organs on display, very cool. We went to the zoo and saw a gorilla literally poo in his hand and eat it. Nutritious. We couldn't do much else with my Dad being sick and all that. But I did get to REI and ate some delicious food at LOLA and reunited with the weenie statue. All in all, a good time. Plus, I enjoy spending time with my brother. We get along really well and had some really stimulating conversations about the meaning of life. We also came to a mutual understanding that living with my family causes a ridiculous amount of unnecessary stress and finding apartments is def in the works for both of us in the very near future.

After all those realizations it was time to come home. I flew back by myself and Bobby started biking home the day after. Yes, I said biking home. That bad ass brother of mine is biking solo from Denver to Erie. Im proud...and jealous. As of today hes made it to Kansas but had to chill out due to Tornados. I asked where you end up if a tornado sucks you up. He said OZ....

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