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How to: Be a Young (or Solo) Traveler
DateTuesday, November 10, 2009
Simple guidlines to wandering the globe by yourself or as a youngling and not getting snatched by pirates...or harrassed by hippies...and still having the time of your life
Lesson #1: Don't Be A Dumbass
My theory is: If it looks like a dark alley, chances are it's a "dark alley". And that can be taken figuratively or literally. If you're looking at a nighttime shortcut street you've never taken before, keep your guard up. It doesn't mean you're scared of the dark and what the shadows might hold. It means your inner voice is saying, "Gee there, this looks like one of them bad ideas" (if your inner voice sounded like a member of the Apple Dumpling Gang). You know who lurks in "dark alleys"? Jack the Ripper and that creepy wheezing kid from Hey Arnold. And if some guy sends you a drink after looking at you all night like a fat guy watches the Food Network after 11pm, I wouldn't drink that if I were you. Or if his name is Quagmire.
Lesson #2: Despite Popular Belief, English is Not the Universal Language (thanks for noticing)
Before I visit a new country, I try to learn all the basic phrases a toddler might need to know: Please, Thank You, Yes, No, What is this?, Where is the bathroom?, Do you speak English? You would be surprised how much more compliant people can be when you at least learn to say "Do you speak English" in their native language. It shows that you're trying, making the effort, attempting to meet them halfway. Walking around asking everyone if they speak English in English might find you someone who does, but that doesn't mean they'll help you. In my experience, people who don't even try to learn the basics of the language come off as lazy and rude....or American. It's not the best first impression, especially if you really do need actual help and are not looking for the local Starbucks.
Lesson #3: Prepare Thyself
Much like learning the basic languages phrases, don't go into an unfamiliar situation deaf, dumb and blind. Check the internet for pictures of what the currency looks like. There are some Americans today that didn't even know that the United States actually has a $2 bill and a gold $1 coin. If a vendor hands you a wad of bills and a few coins, you should know that the plastic coin with Ronald McDonald on it isn't on the minting list....and that pink fifty won't get you anywhere except in Monopoly land. Also, check the news reels for any civil wars going on in the area, destructive weather, new laws or waves of sickness. No one likes a trip that involves malaria, a monsoon and a dictatorial uprising.
Lesson #4: Meet the Locals
You can ask the concierge at your hotel where the coolest places are, but its more than likely that they're recommending places that they have some sort of marketing link with or of the like. Most of my friends that work at places like that would never tell the tenants about their favorite places for fear of it turning into a tourist spot. The concierge might be a local, so talk to him like one and not like your personal fun-tertainment cruise director, and he might swing a cool spot your way. Waitresses and bartenders are usually my favorite. A good amount of the time they're glad just not to talk about the specials for five minutes. If you honestly want to be friends with them, don't lead with a question that benefits you. Ask them about their day or the story behind their tattoo!
Lesson #5: Travelers blend in; Tourists refuse to give up their cultural comforts and therefore deserve to be pick-pocketed
Switch out your bling for something a little more modest. Pickpockets are very similar to Florida-raised blonde fashion designers ;) and Hollywood paparazzi ; Shiny Object Syndrome applies to all. If your oh-so-shiny-rhinestones-where-the-numbers-should-be wristwatch is peaking out of your shirt cuff, you might as well put an "I dare you" sign on your chest. Leave the ridiculous Hollister style mildly humorous graphic tees at home (or burn them, your choice) and, girls, your Coach wedges are not appropriate for visiting dusty ancient ruins. As the saying goes, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do". Try trading the cargo shorts for kurta pants or the mini dress beach cover-up for an ikat sarong. The object is not to be a super ninja spy and disappear completely, but to blend in enough not to be hassled, harassed or harangued.
Lesson #6: Just Say "No"
...or whatever the local dialect equivalent is. Being a southern girl means that you smile when you say "No thank you". We'll turn you down in a heartbeat, we'll just do it with a bright smile and an adorable twang on the end of the line. That glowing politeness turns into a weakness in foreign countries. Market vendors come at you from every angle demanding you to buy what they're selling and if you throw out a smile and a "no thank you" that translates to "Just harass me for 3 more minutes without stopping and I'll give in because either I want you to leave or I pity you". Actually this goes for any college campus on hippie "Community Day" or walking through Canal Street in New York. Just say no, without the smile or the twang. Be direct, assertive and if you were walking in the first place, don't stop. If you need extra help, put on some sunglasses so they can't look you in the eye and earbuds (regardless of whether they're attached to anything) so they think you can't hear them.
Lesson #7: R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Since English speaking countries have recently become the lands of the flesh, some people get downright stubborn when you ask them to cover themselves when entering a sacred or modest location. Much like the Vatican and other religious monuments, it is usually requested that visitors cover either their shoulders, heads or full body when entering as a sign of respect for the area. It's hard for people to pray to their god against life's temptations when a woman walks in wearing a Victoria's Secret bikini and beach cover-up. You're on their turf, so don't piss off the locals (they know where all the good stuff is ;). Also, don't be afraid to try new foods, but if you don't like it, be discreet. You took a gamble on something you weren't familiar with, don't blame the cook or curse the culture.
Lesson #8: Friend Request Accepted
When traveling alone, make friends as you go! You may have arrived friendless, but you don't have to leave that way. One of my favorite things is trying out a new city and making new friends with a clean slate. A second chance at telling that awesome story without forgetting the punchline and having to end it with an embarrassing "...and then I found five dollars" or "and then I fought off a lion with my bare hands". Make conversation with the woman and her kids who run the fruit stand down the street, talk to the guy who works the newspaper stall, buddy up with the scuba guides. If your looking for a vacant couch to crash on, that's one approach, but if its company and polite conversation you're after, try to be a little more subtle.
Lesson #9: Hunt the Bargain Bird
I happen to live in one of the only societies when it's considered rude to haggle prices. My silly overpriced coffee house will never change their prices regardless of my professed knowledge of the costs of brewing a single cup of hazelnut. In other locales, say Indonesia for example, the first price offered is merely a suggestion (and usually 3x the actual price) and it is expected for you to negotiate for a lower price. If it's a service, it might be the opposite. They will promise you a lower fee and then demand a much higher one on completion. Make sure you firmly agree on a price before starting. Get it in writing, if you have to! Much like #5, be direct and assertive. Most vendors enjoy a good haggle, it's a competitive feeling; a game. Others of course, don't give a damn about you, just want your cash and for you to leave the country soon after. Either way, don't be a sucker.
Lesson #10: Be Brave, Not Foolish
You'll have noticed by now that some lessons are contradicting. Say no, but be respectful about it. Don't be a dumbass, but take chances. It's up to you. Generally speaking, no one is going to be making the decisions for you, no one is going to hold your hand while you cross the street. Listen to that inner voice we were talking about (not the Apple Dumpling Gang one; listen to the one that sounds like Morgan Freeman). Being brave is trying something new. Being brave is getting on the plane/train/bus in the first place. Being brave is looking at the bluff over the ocean and having the balls to jump. Now being foolish might be... looking at the bluff over the ocean and having the balls to jump when you know very well that the screw in your knee is going to dislodge and your going to need surgery to replace it the second they fish your wailing flailing body out of the water. Know your limits.
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